Saturday, October 07, 2006

Televisual excellency, and further evidence towards the case of me being elderly

Apologies for my recent lack of blogging. I would say I've been busy saving the world and helping out at soup kitchens, but it would be a lie. In truth, I have been sat in front of my TV lapping up the autumn scheduling. The PCs have been working overtime to keep up with our downloading, and it's working out brilliantly as I've pretty much stopped going out. God bless America, for its excellent shows that were it not for the wonders of computers, would not be being viewed by me for another six months.

In other news, I am officially turning into my mum. Following the Hollyoaks dad-fancying of a few weeks ago, I've been keeping a beady eye on who I fancy on telly at the moment, and it resembles a SAGA member's Fantasy Sex Camp. Let's look at Vanished, for example. If there was a remotely youthful bone in my body, I would be fancying the pants off the FBI agent, or the sensitive son, or the Mysterious Figure From The Past, or even the deadbeat boyfriend. But no. I've found myself lusting after John Allen Nelson - who was last seen being strung up by rubbish POTUS Charles Logan in 24. Not the typical object of lust for the average 26 year old, I'd wager.

Another prime example is Prison Break. While I see and appreciate the obvious hotness of Wentworth Miller, I am not one of these sorts who writes on forums "OMG Wentworth Miller is soooooooo hot! Where can I meet him I'm gonna marry him and we're gonna have hot kids!" Miller is excellent as Michael Schofield in Prison Break, but he's one of these people that is hot because they look perfect. Look at him - he's completely symmetrical, which is just plain weird. No, I'll leavce Wentworth for my workmate Liz, who is quite obsessed, although hopefully not to the extent of leaving the above message on TV forums. No, instead bring me...

Paul Adelstein is so hot as Kellerman in this show. I'm not quite sure what it is about him. The fact that he is such a Magnificent Bastard (TM Sobell) probably helps.

But that's not all. This show also features William Fichtner as Super Intel-Agent Mahone. And I LOVE William Fichtner. Screw Michael and his piercing blue eyes, or Shirtless Wonder Linc Burrows, who appears to have graduated with honours from the Grunting and Sweating School of Drama, the alma mater of alumni that include Ross Kemp. Kellerman and Mahone are quite enough for me, thank you.

It remains to be seen if this elderly approach to televisual lust will last. I think it all rests on series 6 of 24. If I tune into that and spend all my time panting over Bill Buchanan instead of Kiefer, we can officially conclude that I am desperately old and need to be put into a home. The Fiance, however, will probably relish the change of subject.

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